It’s been a different last few weeks for me, everything is still going well but I’ve just been have these “episodes” where I just get overwhelmed by my emotions.
I don’t want to call them panic attacks, since they’re not at that level of physical intensity, but it’s like the pot bubbles over. I find I then just have to let myself cry or freak out for 10 minutes, and then I start to calm down just by default.
In the last month, I started feeling this way more frequently, about twice a week. I knew or know not be overly worried about, I think it’s part of the adjustment process of being sober day in, day out.
In the last week or so, I’ve been talking to my mom a lot about feeling this way. I don’t know where to draw the line, or how to. When is it good to just let yourself feel and then what point do you just let it go? How do you let something go without pushing it down or ignoring it…
On a practical level, I know that not watching TV before 9pm and being in bed by 10 tends to be helpful.
But on a more mental note, I had a conversation with a close friend yesterday and he said something that really struck a chord. I told him about how lately I had been having these episodes of feeling really overwhelmed, and that they had been happening more frequently.
He said that it sounded like I had a lot of pent up energy, and that I could try to channel that energy into working really hard, into taking advantage of the opportunities I have now that I’m sober.
I really liked that idea, looking at it as energy, not necessarily just emotion. I’m going to think about that the next few days, and try to go to bed early too 😉
Today I’m thankful for my sobriety and taking it one day at a time.